the 4th...a manly holiday

I am all about the 4th of July. I think it is one of the few holidays where Men can actually take over and make it there own. In fact if you don't take advantage of it, you have some serious issues. Here are some solid tips on what to do to make this your manly holiday fantasy:

- Spend the whole day outside, it's probably best to not wear a shirt most of the day. Sunblock is for wimps. A real leather thick sunburn shows you spent your day well.

- Have friends over, lots of them. Neighbors, co-workers, people you went to pre-school with if you have to dig that far. Invite your local butcher if he's not booked, but only if he'll bring some huge meat.

- Grill out. Grill out. Grill out. In fact, do like me...start the night before. Try to grill so much meat that 'tree-huggers' start writing you hate mail on the 5th. Also, try to be more creative than just burgers and hot-dogs -- something with a barbeque sauce.

- Have music playing all day. You should probably only stick to Bruce Springsteen. In fact, "Born in the USA" ought to just be on repeat.

- Play lots of outdoor yard games: botche, yard golf, horshoes, badmitten. These games are lots of fun. Also, gambling makes things much more interesting. Be sure to challenge guys who have a beer in their hand before 1pm. Sure money.

- Fireworks are the most neccessary and crucial way to end your day. Shoot lots of them. In fact, shoot some bottlerockets at some people or even better at the neighbors cat (if you can hit the cat, your an excellent shot). These are the most fun when people are just screaming, it'll be sure to give you a laugh.


Whatever you decide to do, I hope you do try to really keep it manly. There aren't many days like this a year where we can totally make it our own. Also, remember speak only in 'imperatives' (This is classic advice from Brian).This will remind everyone what this day is really about....stupid declaration of Independance.