The All "I can't Stand You" Team

In the wake of the NFL's pro-bowl selections (which by the way made me smile to see Sean Taylor selected to it), Sweet Emotion presents its "We can't stand you" team. This team consists of players measuring up to qualifications such as: incredibly annoying, extremely overrated, flat out Jerk, or a Whiner. Each player will be qualified for his selection with either a Tom Cruise (very annoying b/c blabs his mouth too much about nothing or something else just about him), a Ben Affleck (gets attention for no good reason, extremely overrated), a Sean Penn (He whines and complains about everything, you just want him to shut up), or a Colin Farrell (He is just a full of himself Jerk).

Offense

QB - John Kitna/Jake Delhome - These conflate together as a Tom Cruise and could be combined with a Ben Affleck. How everyone at ESPN and Sports Illustrated kept thinking that Carolina could win a super bowl with Jake Delhome is beyond me. John Kitna's "We're going to win 12 games" really gave Len Pasquerelli the same rxn Matt Lauer got from "you don't know the history of pyschology, I do!!!".

QB - Donovan McNabb - This is an obvious Sean Penn. He is the biggest Whiner in sports, and yes....he supercedes Kobe Bryant.

RB - Lamont Jordan - This guy groaned about a lack of playing time in NY, demanded a trade and has done almost...wait....absolutely nothing in Oakland. Shut your trap you Tom Cruise!

RB - Sean Alexander - This is a classic Ben Affleck. Maybe the worst NFL MVP of all time on one of the worst Super Bowl Teams of all time. He has never been as good as his stats, also he played college ball at 'Bama, another reason to hate on him.

WR - Hank Basket - Most of you may be wondering who in the world this guy is, he epitomizes the talentless Philadelphia Eagles WR corps who screams and rants about the media's valid scrutiny of Andy Reid's pathetic eye for WR talent. The best way to classify him is a Sean Penn.

WR - Steve Smith - despite his talent and play-making ability, pathetic attitude and loud mouther. Welcome to the Tom Cruise Family.

WR - Jabaar Gaffney - He is a classic Colin Farrell, what a jerk.

TE - Jeremy Shockey - Ditto. I don't even need to keep talking.

TE - Jeremy Stevens - Maybe a combination of everything but Ben Affleck, b/c I don't know anyone who thinks he is good.

OL - John Runyan - umm, he played at Michigan. That makes him a Tom Cruise.

OL - Luke Petigout - umm. he played at Notre Dame and was supposed to be a "lock" for the Giants at LT, he was terrible and signifies mediocrity. Notre Dame - Ben Affleck Connection is pretty standard.

K - Mike Vanderjagt - This guy may not be in football right now, but I had to still bring him up. He is all 4. Maybe even the poster-child for each category. He is a white guy with earings.

Defense

DL - Warren Sapp - A standard Colin Farrell, I hate this guy.

DL - Shawn Merriman - Another Colin Farrell, plus he cheated with Steroids.

DL - Hollis Thomas - Ugly, Fat, druggy, overrated. He is a unique Horatio Sans.

LB - Matt Vrabel - He played at Ohio State, and now the Patriots, and he embodies the Billichick attitude on the field. He reminds me of Colin Farrell in S.W.A.T.

LB - Teddy Bruschi - I just don't like him, he annoys me, like when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch. He just annoys me.

LB - Lofa Tatupu - Same as Bruschi, he just annoys the crap out of me. He is a northwestern Tom Cruise.

DB - Charles Woodson - He is still complaining about the 'tuck rule', its as if that game was last year. He is the defensive Sean Penn.

DB - Brian Dawkins - He has the worst post-game attire I have ever seen. His 'flexing' annoys me, everything annoys me about him, but I think he has been vastly overrated in his career. I'd make him a Ben Affleck.

DB - Asante Samuel - This guy drives me crazy, probably b/c he is so good. I just really don't like him. I've got nothing else on him, so I'd have to make him a Tom Cruise.

DB - Rodney Harrison - As simple as I can say it, "I CAN'T STAND YOU". But he really is best described as a combination between Colin Farrell and Tom Cruise.

Life Time Honorable Mentions

BILL ROMANOWSKI - An Absolute Pyscho, throwing a punch at Tony Gonzalez, kicking Larry Centers in the head, breaking Kerry Collins' jaw. He also spit in J.J. Stokes face, and broke teammate Marcus Williams' eye socket (forcing him to retire) by punching him during a Raider's practice. He was a Colin Farrell, before anyone heard of Colin Farrell.

Chris Weinke - most pathetic collegient athelete of all time.

Joe Theisman - not sure if he belongs in as a player or an Analyst. Both could apply. I miss Luke telling me over and over how much he hates him.

Coaches

Bill Bilichick

Mike Holmgren

Andy Reid

Mike Martz

Announcers

Brian & Greg Gumbel

MNF Crew

Brian Baldinger

Boomer Esiason

Chris Collinsworth

I have to say that this list was compiled by me and not Brian. Brian may have some adjustments to it and you may have some extreme objections or additions. So Who's on your team?