Monday, January 07, 2008

American Gladiators Returns


Per request from Daniel Luter (we try to please our readers). The weekend was a big one for sports. Why? Because the American classic TV program “American Gladiators” returned in style. Here is Sweet Emotion's quick review of the classic tv gameshow return.

1) Larry Thompson is desperately needed back – the overweight ref (Al Kaplon) that screams "Contestants are you ready," instead of Larry’s “GLADIATORS…READY” just doesn’t cut it. In my research, the reason behind Al’s performance was obvious. He was an American League umpire. Larry Thompson was a college football ref and Al was a MLB ref. Need I say more. I am waiting for the crowd to start a “We want Larry, we want Larry.” Chant. Larry would have Disqualified _____ for holding onto the rope in the new game “Earthquake.” He does not allow funny business and runs a tight ship. There will never be another Gladiators referee like Larry Thompson. I need to check with Liza to see if I am now related via marriage.

2) The injury in the first game of Powerball was an instant classic. I can't find video footage, but watching the knee buckle of the female contestant was a moment.

3) Helga is the scariest gladiator male/female. I never saw her compete in the first hour of the show, but she has got to be 6’4” 245.

4) The Old Games are still the best. Earthquake, Pyramid and the bridge game, while innovative…have nothing on the Joust, the Wall, Powerball, and assault.

5) They need to cut away from too many interviews and wrestling showcases. The gladiators are better when they treat the game realistically instead of trying to become some cartoonish villain like “Wolf.” Leave that for pro-wrestling, this stuff is real.

6) Mike Adamle and Larry Csonka are much needed. Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali are too much. They subtract from the professionalism that is American Gladiators. (See point 5). I sorely miss Mike Adamle saying, my co-partner needs no introduction, please welcome Larry Csonka.

7) The Eliminator is new and improved. If you did not see the exhausted girls performance…words cannot describe it. I like the barrel roll and the handbike moved to the end.

8) On a sidenote, here is the greatest eliminator finish of all time. You must watch this…Bam Bam versus Mark Ortega. Notice four things in the video and it will show you the pinnacle of entertainment that is the original Gladiators. If you don’t get chillbumps watching this…I question your Patriotism. Read the following before watching…it’s called your show prep.
1) Notice the photo finish
2) Notice Bam Bam’s despair after the loss
3) Take not of the Crowd’s hysterical reaction….probably equal to the Cal Marching band finish
4) Notice Larry Thompson charge in a make the ruling immediately following the finish.
5) Listen to Mike Adamle’s excitement. All you need to know to petition for Mike to be back.

7 Comments:

At 6:30 PM, Blogger kurt said...

First of all. Great video. Secondly, I flipped on ESPN to catch a little National Championship hype and all of Sportscenter is devoted to Roger Clemens!?!?! Who cares about that fat has-been? LSU & OSU are playing tonight and I've got to listen to Buster Olney and Roger Cosack talk about a stupid phone conversation.

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger Daniel said...

Let's make sure people know about Malibu:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VGDwScgb_Y0

 
At 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree, putting the Travelator (and the handbike) at the end of the course is genious. I get excited just thinking about the potential for a fire to start from the friction as the contestants try to hang on to that rope as the Travelator spins beneath them at about 5000 rpm. The contestants bursting into flames as they crash through the padded wall at the finish line would truly be "the ultimate equalizer".

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Not on the Subject, but James Carville is in the "Sweet Emotion Hall of Fame". If you havn't seen him yell at that chick on ESPN about how pathetic Lee Corso and the Rose Bowl are, you need to find it.

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger joel kimmel said...

classic video. i just remembered how much better the original was. i knew the ali/hogan combo would be miserable though. the new games aren't very good i agree. i don't like the modifications to the grandaddy of all event, the assault. having to load the weapons is taking too much time. why is nobody going headfirst into the pool in the eliminator? gotta save time i would think. like the addition of the pyramid. cool game and good obstacle late in the eliminator. is it just me or is Crush pretty hot? i'm really diggin her.

 
At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're an IDIOT!!!!

It's " Is the Contender Ready???" and "Gladiator Ready???"... Just like it was with Larry... Producers make the calls not the REF you Idiot!!!!

 

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