Monday, March 24, 2008

Why We Love Davidson

The first weekend of the Big Dance is over and one could discuss hundreds of highlights and subjects. However, I would like to focus on the most fun story of the tournament so far....Davidson College. Here are a few of my observations and why I am pulling for Davidson (and Tennessee for my bracket's sake)

1) We love Davidson because the fantasy principle. You look at Davidson and think, "Those guys are just like me." Therefore, as you watch them play, you start entertaining false notions about what you and your buddies back home could do. You think....just maybe we could have done something like this. (Note that I said false notions please). I'm not that silly...I'm aware of my 22 inch vertical and 5.6 40 speed.

2) It affirms the accuracy of Nintendo. One of the greatest basketball players in Nintendo sports was Dell Curry. Countless times, I would battle my brother in Super Nintendo's NBA Live '95. And countless times I would watch Dell Curry of the Charlotte Hornets light me up from beyond the arc. He was an amazing (Christian Okoye -esque...tecmo bowl) player. All that to say, anyone who played NBA Live '95 should have jumped at the idea of recruiting his son Stephen Curry. Alas, many coaches passed on the diminutive shooter, and now he is making them look silly. Curry has been the most enjoyable player to watch in the tournament....that reminds me...I wonder if Christian Okoye has a son....some football coach better be recruiting him.

3) Can I go on about Stephen Curry. When asked about his second half performance after a shooting slump in the first half against Georgetown, Curry responded with a quote that makes sweet emotion smile. "I guess I have Shooter's Amnesia." YES and Yes again. You can't score if you don't shoot...this is why we love A.I. and now Stephen Curry.

Thank you Davidson and go wildcats. Keep on shooting.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I was just checking the inline for the specs on the rotary-gurder...

It's time to get this thang started! Get your picks in by noon tommorow to qualify for the custom made "Sweet Emotion Manly Package".

Monday, March 17, 2008

Get cha' popcorn ready....

Tennessee got absolutely screwed. We can argue back and forth about whether Kansas or Tennessee should have gotten the 4th #1 seed. It's obvious the committee changed their minds this year about what 'really mattered' to them. In recent years, the conference tournaments meant nothing and most of the high seeds had already been determined before sunday. What the committee used to value was RPI, strength of schedule, and out of conference wins. The committee had been surveying the entire scope of the season. That has changed, what teams did in december and January really became obsolete. The total focus of the seeds was on how teams did in late Feb. and March. Teams who did really well in the conference tournament were rewarded, teams who flopped were punished.

Jay Bilas got his dream come true when his beloved jayhawks were given the final #1 slot (is it me or is it getting harder and harder to find likeable basketball analysts, we don't even have to mention how aweful Billy Packer is). It's obvious the committee went in this direction, and that's fine - they have the right to redetermine credentials. My complaint for Tennessee is that they went from being on the fence of a possible #1 seed, to the 4th #2 seed. They got screwed by being put in the toughest bracket with the #1 overall seed. It doesn't add up. Though Bobby Knight said continuously all weekend (I had a rare case of being able to watch ESPN regularly) that the seeds don't really matter that much, and since we've never had 4 #1 seeds in a final four, he's probably right. UNC, UCLA, Memphis, and Kansas will not be in the final four. so the question is....who will be?

We are not going to ask you to pick an entire bracket (i know you're most likely doing 6 or 7 of those) but only to pick your regional final teams - that would be 8 teams, and then list your final 4, and then a national champion. For example:

Regionals: UNC/Tennessee, Stanford/Memphis, Xavier/UCLA, Vandy/Wisconsin

Final 4: UNC, Stanford, UCLA, Wisconsin

National Champ: UCLA

Not much too it, we will reward 5pts for each regional team, 10pts for each final 4 team, and 20pts for the correct national champ pick. We will create something manly and uniqe to award you with. The prize will most likely be a package of manly items sent sincerely from Brian and I. Pick with care

Monday, March 10, 2008

He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think

"Are you kidding me...Are you out of your mind???.....Are you out of your freaking mind??.."

I'm sure Gruden had to say that a few times when he saw some of Daly's shots, or even when Daly simply asked for the big stick on the tee. Can someone please explain to me how this got together, b/c I want to know how we can make it happen again. How funny and at the same time admirable was it to see hardcore Jon Gruden carrying Daly's bag? It just got me thinking, who would make the most entertaining Caddies for a whole weekend with John Daly

James Carville - With each bad shot, he would demean Daly with phrases and thoughts that would go right over his head, and then his cajuin temper would snap right back in his thickest cajuin accent, "your only true profession is being a big fat marketing tool for hooters hot wings and beer." Carville would attempt to over-analyze each shot and then get into an argument with Daly when he simply doesn't understand. Most likely, Carville would drop the bag on the 8th hole and leave ranting about some connection between golf and politics that none of us understand.

Jack Nicholson - He's the only caddy would strike true fear into the deep buried soul of John Daly (We all know how deeply burried that is under that gut). He's one-liner statements would eventually lead to some tears on the course, "Now comes the part where I relieve you, nancing around in your pumpkin orange, of the burden of your failed and useless life. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile". Daly then walks off the course even more depressed than when he started, takes the next cab to Vegas to bet on the tournament, marries the hooters waitress in the restaraunt and then proceeds to eat 316 wings in honor of his tournament score.

Ocho Cinco - this would be great b/c if Daly ever did anything worth celebrating about, we would get some unusual celebration reactions from the couple. Ocho may ride the putter like a horse, or have Daly and himself pull their shirts up to have matching tatoos, or the riverdance across from the green to the tee box, or he could turn and just propose to John and then get up to smile to show us that beautiful grill!

Larry the Cable Guy - this would allow us to get a running commentary by someone who totally understands the life of John Daly, b/c he shares much of it. They could stop every 3 holes for some corn dogs, hot wings, and more beer. The only problem is that both of them might pass out by the 12th hole. Then they would both dream about drinking the world's largest Margarita only to wake up with their heads in the toilet of the men's locker room.

Kelvin Sampson - Surely he could figure out a way to help Daly win a frappin' tournament, kick his ball back into play, "John, did have an 8 or a......4 on the last hole?....i thought that was a 4." Heck, with Sampson on the bag, he might be able to help Daly challenge for the grand slam!

Here's to a wonderful Golf Season, soon to truly kick off in a month at Augusta.

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Buffet Suggestions

We are all about full, unbridled manliness on this blog, and so I needed to publicly address this crucial issue that has been running through my brain. On Friday, colleague of mine (Gray Hardison) excitedly called to inform me that he had spotted a wonderful sign. My ears tickled and my mouth watered as I heard him say, "I drove by the chick-fil-a in Atlanta and the sign out front said they had a Saturday Breakfast buffet." Maybe I've just been out of the loop on this one, but that is unbelievable. Are you telling me, on Saturday mornings I can drive to Chick-Fil-A and pound as many chicken biscuits with honey as I so desire? A dream come true, I can safely say that every time I've downed a glorious chicken biscuit, I've thought to myself, "I could definitely eat another."

That information got me thinking. Why don't more fast food restaurants go with a lunch buffet? Pizza Hut and Mazzio's continue to reap the benefits? My buddies and I have some pizza hut buffet stories from back in the day. KFC has also made a good run at it. Being that I was a marketing major in college, here are my top 3 restaurants that should offer a "Friday Lunch Buffet."

3) Arby's - Hands down, behind Chick Fil A, it's my favorite fast food. I went the other day and took advantage of their take 5 menu. What a deal, pick five items for $6.49. Anyway, what would make their buffet work is the variety of their menu. Their staples could be cheese sticks, curly fries, regular fries, Jalapeno Bites, Onion Petals and potato bites for side items. Their entree's could include market fresh wraps cut into smaller pieces, popcorn chicken, miniature bacon n cheddar sandwiches (my mouth just started watering). Items such as the Chicken Cordon Bleu and the Toasted Subs could rotate on and off. And then one could finish off their meal with dessert items such as cherry/apple turnovers or a jamocha milkshake machine. Variety is the key at Arby's and would enable them to piece together a mouth-watering buffet for $6.99.

2) Krystal - Need I even paint the picture. You walk in on Friday and spot a buffet table full of Krystal burgers, Krystal Burgers with cheese, Krystal Chiks, and yes...Chili Cheese Pups. My goodness I would be so excited. Add fries and chik'n bites for your side items and one is set. On the way out, you could grab a slice of their lemon icebox pie or a hot apple turnover....or both. The Krystal Buffet would be especially kid-friendly with their icee machines. The buffet would solve my constant Krystal do I decide what to get? One rule for Krystal, by law they could only offer this once a week, lest the obesity problem in the United States get raised to the power of 10. Also, it would be $6.99

1) Drumroll please......Taco Bell. Hard and Soft Tacos, Chalupas, Mexi-melt burritos, chicken and steak quesadillas, chicken taquitos, nacho chips, Gorditas...I could go on and on. One could finish off with a handful of cinnamon twists. Here would be the best thing of all, they would only charge $4.25. That's the great thing about Taco Bell, even without the buffet you get like 6 tacos for a dollar. I am guaranteeing success on this one. I can already see the effects, men would be checking their watches at work around 9:30 a.m and then they would slip out from work about 10 minutes early just to beat the crowd.

Anyway, if you are the CEO of any one of these companies, take my idea and run with it. Just give all our readers a free trip to the buffet. Let's hope it happens, the world will thank Sweet Emotion.