Thursday, October 26, 2006

Man of the Week

Without a shadow of a doubt, we have our man of the week. Sweet Emotion is constantly trying to affirm and define manliness in order to encourage you in your pursuit. If one person’s testosterone increases due to this blog, then we have achieved our goal. One aspect of manliness yet to be addressed is the beauty of nicknames

To be given a cool nickname is manly in and of itself. For example, to name a few:
The Big Hurt (Frank Thomas), Big Poppie (David Ortiz, His Airness (Michael Jordan), The Human Highlight Film (Dominique Wilkens), The Round Mound Of Rebound, or Sir Charles (Charles Barkley), The Bus (Jerome Bettis…I regretfully use this analysis being that he went to Notre Dame), The Natrone Bomb (Natrone Means), LT (Lawrence Taylor), Craig “Ironhead” Heyward, “Prime Time” (Deion Sanders), The Italian Stallion (Rocky Balboa), The Mayor (Samuel Husband). We could go on and on.

Admit it, even reading those names grew some hair on your chest. It even works for teams. Who can forget Phi Slamma Jamma in Houston, or The Bad Boys of the Detroit Pistons.

But you reach a new level of manliness when you become so delusional about yourself, so ego centric and so convinced of your own greatness, that you grant YOURSELF a nickname.

Chad Johnson has done it. Chad Johnson (#85 of the Cincinnati Bengals) is so convinced of his own invincibility that he has issued a decree. Yesterday, he instructed reporters to no longer refer to him as Chad Johnson, but as “Ocho Cinco.” After being asked what he thought he could do to take Atlanta Falcons CB Deangelo Hall out of the game.

I can do anything. Whatever I want to. Whether he has help, they double me or triple me like everyone else is doing, this week, Chad is back. Matter of fact, my name is not Chad anymore. We are celebrating Hispanic heritage month in the NFL, my name in ocho-cinco. Don't call me Chad, my name is ocho-cinco. Tell DeAngelo Hall when I am done with him, trick-or-treat.

The beauty of it makes me both laugh and cry. Not only is the name ridiculously creative. It’s not even the correct way to say eighty five in Spanish. That would be ochenta cinco. However, “Ocho, Cinco” is so much cooler.

“Ocho Cinco” is right up there with the manliness of naming your moves. Don’t forget the Ickey Shuffle. But Who can forget Shaquile O’Neal’s words in an interview. Dikembe Mutombo was not going to be able to play in an upcoming game against Shaq. And when Shaq-Diesel was asked about it, He resonded with “It’s too bad that Dikembe will not be their, I would have had to give him “The Business.” In conclusion, Sweet Emotion will respect his wishes, and if anyone refers to “Ocho Cinco” by a different name then we will delete your comment. I hope this blog has cleared the fog a little bit more in your definition of manliness. One day I hope to be given a cool nickname, and I hope one day you achieve that status as well. Here’s to Ocho-Cinco, I hope he plays awesome Sunday.

Feel free to share your favorite nicknames, or maybe even an time where you gave yourself a nickname.

7 Comments:

At 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shaq did not say he would have given him "the business," he said he would have given him "da' business."

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope "nueve" can get the ball to "ocho cinco" fow a few TD's on Sunday. One reason my fantasy team has been el farto all year is because "ocho cinco" can't seem to catch the ball more than dos times for uno cuatro yards per game.

No mas fantasy points = NO MAS OCHO CINCO!!!!

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Alex said...

i have two favorite self-given nicknames b/c they were both unworthy and ironic.

#1 - When returning for his sophomore year at Tennessee in 2002, Kelly Washington began to refer to himself as "The Future", ironically he played in 2 games that fall before having season ENDING injuries and would never again dress in orange and white.

#2 - Freddie Mitchell, formely of the Philadelphia Eagles, entitled himself as "The People's Champ". I can say that in my time in philadelphia, there was no player more dogged by the home-town fans and the rest of fans in the NFL than Freddie Mitchell, he recieved more insults and critical remarks than T.O. could ever chase.

...but seriously, Chad Johnson kills me

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger kurt said...

Speaking of great team nicknames...let's not forget the Cinncinatti Red's bullpen, a.k.a., "The Nasty Boys"...I'm hoping Lou Pinella will get something similar going with the Cubs...mabye Norm Charlton and Rob Dibble will come out of retirement!

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Brian said...

ooooh, great call Kurt. Who can forget the Nasty Boys. While we're at closer nicknames. Let's not forget "The Eck"

 
At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how about the "bash brothers" in oakland? or "the fridge" in chicago?

 
At 9:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Freddie Mitchell = Fred Ex

"I just wanna' thank my hands..."

-Charles

 

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