Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Expensive bottles of glue!

The passing of a hero...Ok I just laughed when I wrote that.

What was all the hysteria about yesterday? Barbaro died. Let me restate my sentence: Barbaro, a horse, was finally euthanized. Now I love animals, I really do. My dog Patches was a terrific dog, but let's get a grip on things people. It's a freaking horse. I'm sorry if this post is too harsh, but the amount of press this horse has received is mind boggling. May I demonstrate with a few quotes from various articles and I will be adding my running commentary
Barbaro battled in his ICU stall for eight months. The 4-year-old colt underwent several procedures and was fitted with fiberglass casts. He spent time in a sling to ease pressure on his legs, had pins inserted and was fitted at the end with an external brace. These were all extraordinary measures for a horse with such injuries.

Barbaro battled in ICU for eight months! Goodness gracious, someone spent the money to keep a horse in ICU for eight months. I would like to know exactly how much it cost, and what else could have been done with that money.

"This horse was a hero," said David Switzer, executive director of the Kentucky Thoroughbred Association.

Correction: The horse was not a hero, the keyword you used David was HORSE. The Webster's definition of a hero is - a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities. It does say man, which I don't think qualifies Barbaro

The story of the beloved 4-year-old bay colt's fight for life captured the fancy of millions.
When Barbaro broke down, his right hind leg flared out awkwardly as jockey Edgar
Prado jumped off and tried to steady the ailing horse. Race fans at Pimlico wept. Within 24 hours the entire nation seemed to be caught up in a "Barbaro watch," waiting for any news.

I am proud to say I was not caught up in the Barbaro watch, and hopefully neither was the ENTIRE nation. The Barbaro watch, if I recall, simply got in the way of my fantasy baseball watch on sportscenter.

Devoted fans even wrote Christmas carols for him, sent a wreath made of baby organic carrots and gave him a Christmas stocking.
The biggest gift has been the $1.2 million raised since early June for the Barbaro Fund. The money is put toward needed equipment such as an operating room table, and a raft and sling for the same pool recovery Barbaro used after his surgeries.

I feel like I'm beating a drum here, but I doubt Barbaro really felt extremely thankful for the cards. I'm sure the wreath was nice considering it was something edible. Again, I'm not a horse, but if I were...I doubt a Christmas card would too exciting. I do however, think our soldiers in Iraq would appreciate cards. Maybe that would have been appropriate?

And maybe the most disturbing of all.
The NBC station said they have recieved 5x
the amount of emails that they did when Gerald Ford
died a few weeks ago.
The owner asked the people,
and i quote "please say a prayer tonight for

I can't believe I have to even say this. There is something strangely wrong when people get more upset over a horse dying than a former United States President. Oh, and I did not say a prayer last night for a dead horse.

I apologize (not really) if this post has offended you. Again, I can understand someone being sad over the loss of a pet. I can understand the owner being sad, but for thousands of people to get worked up over it......well its just not what we would call sweet emotion.

Here is how my conversation would go with someone who disagreed with me.
Opposition: You are unsympathetic
ME: It's a horse, I'm sorry
Opposition: But, he was a great horse
Me. It's a horse, I'm sorry.
Opposition: But..
Me. IT'S a horse.
Opposition: Your ridiculous:
Me: Horses become glue after they die.

Now that might actually be something I get excited about. An expensive bottle of glue from Barbaro.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Over The Top!

No, this post is not about Sylvestor Stallone's attempt to relive his 'Rocky' glory in the form of arm-wrestling (but it is a fun excuse to put this lame picture up). I just had to share this and make a few short comments. I was recently given one of our child-hood favorite games on my computer, Mike Tyson's Punchout. At this point, No explanation needs to be given about how life-changing this game was in grade school. It was our 'Rocky' experience. Anyhow, As I picked up the game I couldn't get passed the first Bald Bull (not very far) -- i've forgotten all the hints here and there. So I did what any 21st century knowledge seeker does, I googled "Mike Tyson's punchout secrets and hints". I was hoping to just get some small info about when to punch here or how to dodge this, any small info would have worked. Well, This is what I found (please excuse the length and do not read it, just recognize the absurd detail and knowledge, click here for his webpage):

What I was hoping to find was a simple clue or two, and actually stumbled upon Brian Sulpher's disertation on "the life and thought of Mike Tyson's punchout". This is rediculous, ponder for a moment the amount of time spent on this. Not just the thousands of hours of punchout played, but also thought put into for a consistent battle strategy, also the time spent ORGANIZING this into a coherent presentation. There is an INTRODUCTION, preceded by an outline. This layout was oddly familiar to many a college textbooks. It gets better...the document contains a dedication to his younger brother and girlfriend in which he uses the words 'inspiration' and promised love. Brian so valued this work and so thought it would be widely read that he wanted people to know how his girlfriend "endured" with him through this journey (gosh I hope there married now). He then valued what he had to say so highly, he concludes as somewhat of a mentor or coach giving his best 'Mic' impersanation: "practice, practice, practice". Please, take a deep breath and say it with me now.....WOW.

What are we to do with Brian Sulpher?? I don't have a clue who he is or where he lives?? Is this manly to produce documents like this or is this 'Over The Top'??? I lean towards the latter, but The comment link below is open for the discussion. Here is my suggestion though, I propose that we all BOMBARD Brian (as he has left us his email)with emails full of notes of encouragement and questions, asking for a follow up document. We should let him know how much this meant to us and he should 'keep up the good work'. Feel free to exagerate or even to maybe even write "Dear Brian, I'm praying for you". Brian can be reached at: briansulpher@hotmail.com, until then if anyone does have a valuable tip that might help, i'd appreciate it!!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

You Decide January 2007

Our unmanly award of the week goes to Bruce Pearl, head coach of the Tennessee Vols basketball team. Bruce meated out and painted his body for a LADY Vols basketball game. I repeat, he painted up for a female basketball game. I have nothing else to add. Would I tell Bruce he is unmanly to his face...absolutely not. As I was watching Bruce jump up and down like a crazy man, the resemblance to Ed Orgeron started freaking me out. I don’t know who is more of a meathead. So I put the question to our readers.

The question for our readers today is, Who is more insane and therefore would you least like to meet in a confrontation in a back alley? Our two contestants are Bruce Pearl (Head basketball coach of Tennessee and“Hulk” impersonator) and Ed Orgeron (Head football coach of Ole Miss, Hummer lover and meathead supreme). I wouldn’t want you guys to vote without being informed so watch these quick videos and cast your vote. The Bruce Pearl video needs no explanation...He is simply off his rocker.

However, with a plethora of videos (the hummer video did not make the cut) to choose from, I picked two of Ed Orgeron. In the first, coach “O” is in the bottom right corner of your screen firing up his players…”O” style (unfortunately Youtube would not let me embed the video so you will have to click on the link). In the second video, apparently CSS interviewed players asking them to imitate their coach. Fast Forward to about 42 seconds into the video. At that point you will hear Robert Lane describe coach ‘O” with the phrase “dislocates his jaw.” Then, the camera switches to “O”, and he gives the camera the scariest look I’ve ever seen followed by and even more psychotic chuckle.

1st video (O fired up)

I cast my vote with Ed Orgeron. If he gave me that look in a back alley somewhere, I would go ahead and try to knock myself out before he got the chance. Bruce is giving Ed a good run for his money, but I think at the end of the day, Ed would finally headbutt Bruce and call it a day.

Keep it up fellas!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Carry on ole Red, White, and Blue

Let's Celebrate America

The BBC recently conducted a world-wide survey regarding opinions towards U.S. policies. To no one's surprise, France routinely disapproved of U.S. foreign policies. 80% of respondents disapproved with our stance on global warming (France leading the charge), 73% on our Iraq War stance (France leading the charge), and 60% on our Iran nuclear program stance. If France is disapproving, then chances are, we are doing something right. Carry on United States. How easily France forgets what the world would be like apart from the U.S. The U.S. is trying to figure out how to stop Iran while France is passionately saving the world from global warming. Thank you France for your relentless battle against the evil of this world.
"Did someone say Global Warming? We surrender" - France

In other news, the NCAA is tackling all the important issues as usual. In efforts to get South Carolina to remove a confederate flag from a confederate monument and Mississippi to remove the confederate flag from its state flag, they are proposing a ban. It would band super regional and regional baseball tournaments from occuring in states which fly the confederate battle flag. This paragraph is not a statement about the confederate flag, (I, for one, was all in favor of Ole Miss removing them from the stadium), but can't the NCAA find more important things to be concerned with? Gee...I don't know, maybe hammering down on rampant cheating. It will be quite a fun controversy if the NCAA follows through with the ban and either Ole Miss or Miss. State has a great baseball team this year. "Sorry guys, you played great this year....but your going to have to drive to Tulsa this year because you live in Mississippi."

Monday, January 22, 2007

...aaaaaaaaaat laaaaaaaaaast......

I just can’t put into words the excitement and relief I experienced as a Colts fan last night. I’ve only been a fan for 9 years (…when they drafted Peyton), but the pain and misery of watching the Colts beat the Patriots was like a 1,000 llbs. Of sports emotions lifted off my back and thrown in the Boston Bay. My brother and I shared a special moment after the game both elated with simultaneous joy that the Colts were going to the super bowl and that the Patriots were not. The Patriots really have become the ‘evil empire’ of the NFL. I know there is disdain out there for Peyton Manning (the “Manning face” or the “Holy Family of Football” or all the commercials), but have you ever seen such a sharp clash of the classy vs. the classless?? I know Tom Brady has accomplished a lot, but what a pathetic attitude he had after the game. He didn’t shake anyone’s hand or acknowledge anyone, no sportsmanship at all. And Belichick is the model example for classlessness, how bout the insulting acknowledgement to both Manning and Dungy. This is what makes people like Bill Simmons and the company of Patriots followers so despicable (not denying the fact he’s hilarious), all dignity is flushed down the toilet when they lose. Does anyone else agree with Ladanian Tomlison’s comments last week?? There is no better justice though than seeing Brady run off the field like a crying little girl and see a beyond bitter Belichick mumble through an interview.
Aside from the sure joy of seeing the Patriots lose, I did have some thoughts throughout the game. In the first half it really seemed like a nightmare all over again…
- I couldn’t believe Manning threw another interception against the Patriots, it’s almost as a moth to a flame
- It was very depressing to see how the Patriots were totally in the head of the Colts early in the game, like that manipulative girl who won’t stop calling even though you filed the restraining order 3 months ago (I know you all had one in college too..)
- I couldn’t believe the Patriots went away from running the football with Corey Dillon…why?? (like why did even let ball inbounded to Jimmy Chitwood ??)
- What was Dungy thinking trying to Challenge the Gaffney touchdown, was anyone in the booth watchin?? (….like Demi Moore’s “No, No I strenuously object!!)
- I couldn’t believe the Colts didn’t fold after all the special teams mishaps late in the game
- I wanted to know what Brady and Belichick were thinking when Adam Vinateri came up clutch in the 4th quarter….again (“Freudo…you broke my heart !!”)
- I also wanted to ask Tony Dungy how the Lord was on his side, but then I watched Belichick’s interview after the game and everything made sense. (I’m sure there is some relevant Star Wars quote here, nothing is coming to mind)

I do want to extend my public sorrow for Brian and all the Saints fans, we were all cheering for you. The cards just were not stacked in your favor. Cold weather, outside, rain/snow/sleet….that’s Bears weather, that’s Bears football. It is a good day to be football fan though, a Super Bowl I’m pumped about watching. Does anyone think the Colts will lose that game??

…At last Peyton Manning was not a choker
…At last Tom Brady didn’t come through in the clutch
…At last we don’t have to watch a coach in the Super Bowl who looks like he stopped off at the nearest garage sale on the way to the stadium
…At last Bill Simmons must eat his ‘crow’ and face the music of all his vindictive writing
…At last the haters and doubters must repent
…At last Boomer Esiason can take his nose out of New England’s butt
…At last the city of Boston can start pouting again
…At last Grey Hardison may get one of his wishes for 2007
…At last Indianapolis won the AFC championship
…At last Peyton is going to the Super Bowl
…At last the Colts beat the Patriots in the playoffs!!!!!!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Pat, please stop!

Pat Robertson is at it again. On January 2nd, he made his annual predictions for the coming year. New year predictions are fun and dandy, however, according to Robertson, his predictions are based on something "God told him."
From the Associated Press:
In what has become an annual tradition of prognostications, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Tuesday that a terrorist attack on the United States would result in “mass killing” late in 2007. “I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” he said during his news-and-talk television show “The 700 Club” on the Christian Broadcasting Network. “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.” Robertson said God told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.

I wish Pat Robertson would just stop. The claims to Divine Revelation are both wrong and offensive. Hebrews 1:1-2 tells us In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many time and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son... God no longer reveals himself through special audible voices. As the writers of the Westminster Confession of Faith states "Therefore it pleased the Lord, at sundry times, and in divers manner to reveal Himself, and to declare that His will unto His Church; and afterwards, for the better preserving and propagating of the truth...to commit the same wholly unto writing; which maketh the Holy Scripture to be most necessary; those former ways of God's revealing His will unto His people being now ceased.

The writers of the Confession realized Scripture taught that there is no new revelation from God. God has gloriously revealed himself by taking on flesh, walking the earth, and living the life we should have lived and dying the death we should have died. And now the life and teachings of Christ and His apostles are recorded in the NT and the canon is closed! To claim Divine Revelation is in essence to claim the Scriptures are not sufficient and not closed.

In our present day, we await the return of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And until then, we live and breath by his revelation in His Word. To make claims as Mr. Robertson does is offensive and wrong because it denies the claim of Scriptures. All Scripture is breathed out by God and useful for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. II Tim. 3:16

God's Word is sufficient to equip us for every good work, and Mr. Robertson's claims are even more appalling when they don't come true (such as his prediction last year of a tsunami hitting the coast of the United States in 2006). We serve a God who is truth and cannot lie! Thus, in the OT, a prophet was put to death when he made a claim of divine revelation which then did not come true. (Deut 18:20-22).

For his missed predictions he simply said "Sometimes I miss."

Monday, January 15, 2007


Bush's fumble in the 4th quarter surely created horrific flashbacks of the Saints of old, but these Saints are now obviously different. I was getting ready to tearfully watch the Eagles drive down for the win, but lo and behold the Saints D held. Let's go Saints! I'm still smiling from watching the Deuce get loose on the Eagles. I never thought I would see this, but the Saints are 1 game away from the Super Bowl. Bring on Da Bearts. Here are a few highlights.... no doubt my favorite is the first big run by Deuce.

A friend of mine in New Orleans said he walked outside his house after the win and fireworks were going off and car alarms going crazy. He then said he tried to watch the local sports broadcast from the superdome, but for 10 minutes everytime they tried to film, some crazy saints fan would scream into the microphone and camera. I LOVE IT. WHO DAT!

Friday, January 12, 2007

FOX...not so "foxy"

Well, now that the rediculously long bowl season that is "less interfering with academics than a playoff" is finally over, we can now comment about aspects of it. Many avenues can be taken, i want to discuss FOX. Remeber 15 years ago when this wasn't even considered a network? If they didn't have about everything, they had to and monopolize the BCS. Fox has no business covering these games, they were horrendous. It was an absolute disgrace to even Lou Holtz when Fox had Tim Brown helping covering the Sugar bowl. At halftime of that game he said, and i quote "I think Notre Dame is dominating this game." And how bad was Barry Alavarez covering the championship game? It's comical to think about his comments about the validity of Michigan at the begging of the broadcast. Someone tell me how it is justified to have a CURRENT big ten AD covering that game?? Fox not only blew it with who they had, but the annoying outstretch of the games. Just put them all on January 1 and then the championship game 2 days later, who cares about an orange bowl between Wake Forest and Louisville on Jan 2?? Thankfully, we have had the last laugh on their poor job. With that, here is Sweetemotion's recent review of rest of media...

Love you and will weep day you go off the air: Bob Costas, Joe Buck, Chris Berman, Todd Blackledge, Conan O'Brian, Gameday Crew, Al Micheals and John Madden, Brian Williams (NBC news anchor), Anderson Cooper, Bill O'reily, Matt Lauer (due to his interigation of Tom Cruise...classic), Scott Van Pelt, Dan Patrick, Brad Nesslar and Bob Griese, Dick Vitale, Phil Simms, Troy Aikman, Ron Franklin (how did he get booted from ESPN's primetime game after 15 years??), Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon

You are a disgrace and make me throw a shoe at the TV: Lou Holtz, John Saunders, Stuart Scott, NBC Notre Dame broadcasting crew, Both the Gumbel boys...especially Bryant doing the NFL, Shannon Sharpe, Desmond Howard, Brent Mustberger, spencer Tillman, Katie Couric (doing news anchor at CBS...Katie on 'today show' was fine), Rosie O'donnel and rest of cows on "the View", Dan Rather, Tim McCarver, Billy Packer, Doug Flutie,....and the absolute worst of them all---SKIP BAYLESS!!!!

please, add to these lists--they are brief. Also in other news, another 'anti-hero' has emerged for sweetemotion. If there were not enough reasons all ready to dislike Jason Kidd, we now have the crowning reason to. Jason Kidd recently filed for divorce citing spousal abuse, he claimed his wife continually incidents of her kicking, hitting, and punching him. If someone finds any footage of this on YOUTUBE, please post it!!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Manly Info Of The Week

A hilarious manly statistic came out the other day. It appears that a study of 200,000 European women concluded that doing housework is more likely to protect a woman from breast cancer.
The jokes can run with this one. You watching TV while your wife cleans the dishes is just your way of protecting her in the long run. Wow.

In other news, and I will hardly comment.... Florida clearly overpowered Ohio State. It was a joke how much more athletic and talented Florida was. I'm not saying the outcome would be the same everytime they played, but Florida was clearly the better team. Here is what will make you angry if you think about it. If USC had simply beaten UCLA, then Florida would never have had a shot to prove themselves. What a joke! Playoff system please.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Learning from the bowls

With the national championship game still to go, I thought we could reflect on what this years bowl games have taught us.

1) Notre Dame is an average to above average team. It's manly to toot your own horn, so let's not forget that Sweet Emotion at the beginning of the year reminded its readers about the severely overhyped Irish. With 0 wins in the last 9 bowl appearances and 1 win (yes, 1) over a top 25 team in the past two years, Notre Dame is simply not that impressive. The Sugar bowl revealed their true colors which are.
a) Their defense is at best a mediocre SEC defense
b) Brady Quinn against a great defense looked average
c) The media has a love affair with both the Irish and Charlie Weiss. The guy might be a good coach, but all he has really done is play USC close last year. I'm sure very soon we'll be getting an ESPN upclose on Charlie Weiss' 10-3 season and the Irish return to the BCS.
d) Join a freaking conference

2) Preseason rankings need to go out the door. The ONLY reason Notre Dame got into a BCS game was because they were preseason #4 (???might be wrong on that). Preseason rankings hold way too much weight.

3) A Playoff system should be put in place. Two reasons, first teams get to hash it out on the field, and secondly, every BCS game would have an electric (Boise Stateesque) atmosphere. Without a playoff system, games like Louisville and Wake Forest just aren't that exciting. Proposal: A friend of mine (Ben Shaw) has proposed a 6 team playoff with the winners of each conference. I like it. First, it would force every conference to have a conference championship, and thus bringing excitement back to the conference championship game. The SEC championship would be awesome knowing that whoever won will get in the playoffs. Secondly, every team either earned their spot or didn't. Sure LSU might be the most talented, but they didn't do what was necessary in the regular season to get in the playoffs. Thirdly, Boise State would be fun to watch but eventually would fizzle out. Now I know its not a perfect system, but I agree with Ben's proposal. (Picture shows Me, Ben Shaw (brains behind the proposal) and Samuel Husband (Mayor of First Pres).

4) Pete Carrol is an amazing coach. Watching USC dismantle Michigan was a joy. I know USC plays in the weak Pac 10, but to lose 2 Heisman Trophy winners from a team and come back the next year dominant once again is impressive.

5) Penn State is classy. As much as I hate the Big 10, my colleague Alex said their fans were as classy as they come. Seeing Joe P up in the box with his 10 inch glasses is a nice refresher from the modern day free agent coach. Joe P will always be high in my heart for his comments regarding Jackie Sherril. Paraphrase: "i'm not retiring until Jackie Sherril retires, somebody has to balance out the bad he brings into college football."

6) Nick Saban will be the first coach hit with a beer bottle three times during a game on Nov. 3rd. Only LSU fans would start a "Saban Sux" chant at the Sugar Bowl. The LSU/Alabama matchup in Tuscaloosa will be downright dirty. Who knows what Saban's return to Baton Rouge will be like. All I know is that quite a few fans will be arrested for their actions (that is unless the Baton Rouge police encourage the fans actions)

7) Tommy Tuberville probably said a lot of curse words when Alabama announced Saban as their new coach. Someone more slick than Tubs is hard to find, but the Tide successfully did

8) The Miami football program is at a lowpoint. They played their bowl game on a blue field.... I have nothing else to say

9) Jamarcus Russel will be a good NFL quarterback. I've been skeptical all year, but some coach in the NFL will find a way to utilize him. He is a freak of an athlete.

10) The delay on the National Championship game is ridiculous. Quit spreading out the games so much.

11) Boise State stole my friends flag football play book. There is no telling how many times in Jr. High and High School we tried to run the ole crossing route hook n ladder. Nice to see someone using it though. Our other play will be tough to steal, it involves using a tree in the endzone like a pick.

12) Watching Nancy Pelosi accept the Speaker of the House position was rough. Let's just hope the Senate can block much of her "leadership." Just had to get that out there...not sure how it relates to the bowl games.

13) Just saw Ricky Williams hopes to return to the Dolphins. No doubt they will take him, its the Dolphins type of player. Who would I rather have on my team, T.O. or Ricky Williams. I think I'll just resign my position, give it to Bobby Knight and let him coach T.O. (that would be entertaining).

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

"I'm not going to be the Alabama coach"

Maybe I'm on an island, but I just don't get why the bold-faced lies have to be told. Sure take the job at Alabama, but just don't look the people in the eye and tell them otherwise. Saban's move today made me partially a West Virginia fan. At least Rich Rodriguez had the integrity to keep his word. Today brought back flashes of the old Tuberville days. Again, who can blame the guy for leaving for Auburn....but did he have to tell everyone "I'm not leaving Oxford unless in a pine box." (Ole Miss does get press in an ESPN Article today involving the incident....hey we'll take the headlines however we can get em)
Seriously, figure out something else to say other than a bold faced lie. I would think eventually people would learn not to trust him. How in the world can recruits believe he will be around for their college tenure now?

From Ole Miss point of view, things just got tougher. The West now has Auburn, Alabama, and LSU...and Orgeron will be recruiting against Saban. Maybe this will just get crazy Ed Orgeron more fired up who knows. All I know is that it gets more and more diffficult for an SEC team to go undefeated and this didn't help.